Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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