She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i have herpe
just one?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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