I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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