i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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