Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
