There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize