Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My bed smells like the plague
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
