SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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