I want to stick my p in your. b.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
