Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize