people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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