How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
