Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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