i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
