And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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