at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He told me they were just razor bumps!
birth control should be required to get into college
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
