I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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