I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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