hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
