i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
