We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
