Are we in a gay sports bar?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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