okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
