I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
