is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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