I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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