woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
