Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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