Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
