No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
