Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
