Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
