Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
