So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i will never coherently bang her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
