I wish I could teleport
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
