Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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