This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
