i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
