you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
