If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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