He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
