I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
