We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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