Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
