So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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