I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I just shit out all my problems.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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