so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bring me that man meat
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
