I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
