You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
