So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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