We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
