Ambien. No doubt about it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
