): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
