Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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