u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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