what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
