i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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