At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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