He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
