I skipped work to stalk him.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
