How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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