i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
