You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
